Traveling

I recently returned from a lovely spring break in Maui. It was extremely relaxing and fun-minus the air travel portion. I hate air travel. It is a loathsome form of transportation, yet a necessary evil. Since airlines have decided to begin charging extra for checked bags, everyone brings all of their stupid crap shoved into some awkward bag onto the plane. IT DOES NOT FIT IN THE OVERHEAD BIN. And you would think that people would get by now that the wheels of the suitcase must face outward. The best are the people who know their shit doesn't fit and just walk awkwardly to their seat and pretend it isn't theirs. Hi, I saw you.

Also, flight attendants generally hate their jobs and are only doing it because they can't find another job. I expect other passengers to bump into me in the aisles and lean their chair back into my face, but the flight attendants could stand to not spill fizz from the drink cart and shove their large butts into my shoulder. Im sorry you're job sucks and airlines are in financial peril, but you're still getting paid to be pleasant. On the flight to Maui, I got scolded by the male flight attendant for using the front lavatory because it wasn't in my assigned cabin. Look, if there is not a line at the one closest to me and there are 8 people waiting to use the one in the back-tough titties. Im using the front one. And-I promise playing my IPod during take off and landing will not make the plane crash.

The snacks are another reason that air travel remains unpleasant. You used to get a full meal and the full can of your beverage selection. Now they give out rabbit food and two splashes of liquid. They came around for the beverage service and I was hoping to get a delightful medley of nuts, or perhaps a bag of chips considering this was a six hour flight, but no, I got some disgusting dried cranberry mixture that tasted like someone had sat on it and rubbed their swamp ass all over it. Come on.

Understanding Senioritis

I have found that I am unable to focus on any task that doesnt include physical stimulation in the last several weeks. My activities are limited to eating, sleeping, drinking, snacking, watching tv, napping, playing with puppies and several other activities like watching people's odd behaviors. When it comes time to do something feigning productivity, I die. My attention span dwindles to that of a 6 year old who has yet to be prescribed riddlin. In my classes, I find everything, no matter how ridiculous, is absolutely hilarious. I am sitting in the law library right now and I couldnt help but notice the man behind me was eating a large bag of prunes. I found this hilarious to begin with, but what was even funnier was that he jumped up abruptly and asked me to watch his computer and returned ten minutes later. Guess those prunes really did the trick. He has a coffee now, so im pretty sure he must be on a cleanse or something . Anyway, the best part of the story is that I already met this individual once on a sailing excursion in Mission Bay several months ago, where he almost killed me while steering the boat the wrong way because he had consumed two large bottles of merlot. I should be studying for my two tests coming up this week, but I cannot seem to find the level of anxiety usually required to begin studying seriously, so I will go on procrastinating until i run out of things to do, then I will probably go home and be unproductive per usual.







http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2dfYwe/www.ehdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/flowchart2.png

This is awesome

As a follow up to the Karen Carol entry:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/7ihd4T/www.mindmeister.com/40950677/how-to-win-friends-influence-people

This is Crazy

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/38nwmT/www.freestylemind.com/30-habits-that-will-change-your-life

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Doing these things would detriment my life tremendously. One suggestion is to get 8 hours of sleep, and then its says to get up at 5am. What the hell kind of sense does that make? None. My life would be infinitely worse if I got up at 5am. It also says to not drink alcohol. Alcohol is fun and makes life better. I also do not want to do puzzles. No one under the age of 85 likes puzzles. They are difficult. Then it says to make fast decisions, but to wait before buying things (at least 48 hours). I don't think this is fast.

Just for you Amanda

Try this

Embarrassing Moments

Whenever I am doing some sort of lame ice-breaking embarrassing moments activity I can never think of any, and the ones I usually do think of are insanely inappropriate. The times I recall these embarrassing moments are when my mind is subconsciously trying to entertain itself because whatever activity I am engaged in is dreadfully boring. Today, in my attempt to feign productivity, I tried to complete the rest of my law school applications that are "less important." One of the questions I was trying to answer was something about a moment in life that you are especially proud of. Naturally my mind went the other direction, and I started thinking about moments I was especially embarrassed and unproud of. When I was studying abroad in Barcelona, I had many of these less than graceful moments, but one of my favorite was the very first night I arrived. The family I lived with had a cat named "Chispa" that was the devil incarnate. I was discussing the cat with my senora because my spanish speaking ability at that point was limited to animals, food, and several other mundane subjects. My senora was opening a can of some sort, and the contents of the can looked (and smelled) like something one would find in a Pedigree can, so I inferred that she wanted me to feed the cat. I scooped the contents of the can into the cat food bowl on the ground, and little Chispa came a' running. My Senora turned around, looking perplexed and horrified, and began muttering a string of what I could only decipher as Catalonian explatives. It then dawned on me that I had fed the dinner for that evening to this god forsaken ginger cat. Sorry I'm not sorry. I wouldn't have wanted to eat that anyways. I never helped prepare dinner again.

Super Bowl Weekend

Although it was Superbowl weekend, the Superbowl was not the highlight of the weekend because I could care less who won the Superbowl. The Superbowl halftime show was pretty terrible, and I ate guacamole the entire time, and then left to go get a burrito despite the fact that I wasn't really hungry. Fergie's voice makes me want to eat my feelings/slit my wrists. The Superbowl is like a Christian holiday. It encourages consumerism in the form of alcohol and food. Everyone justifies eating a ton of artery clogging food and drinking copious amounts of beer. It might as well be Thanksgiving. I don't think the general population cares as much about the actual game as they do about the novelty of Superbowl Sunday. The anticipation of drinking all the beer and eating all the food is the most fun part.  Everyone also really looks forward to the commercials, which I have to say this year were about as subpar as the halftime show. The only funny one was the Doritos commercial when the pug crashes through the window.

Happy Superbowl Sunday